Handaan

What if Snow white has three little pigs instead of seven little dwarves for company?
Malamang hindi niya nakain yung apple; Sigurado rin akong me gagawin siya sa mga baboy niyang kasama, at sasabihin ko na kase excited akong i-share sa inyo.
Tingin ko parehas pa tayu ng iniisip.


Maganda nga namang palamuti yung apple sa lechon.
Sa sobrang tuwa ni Snow white mag-hahanda siya na parang fiesta sa lugar nila for three days na sa bawat araw eh ihahain niya yung mga lechon. Pati si Stepmother na inggit na inggit sa kanya eh a-attend at magdadala ng leche flan as desserts.
Kaso pag naubos nina Snow White yung lechon, I very much doubt it if Prince Charming will come and kiss her.
Iiling-iling si Fox nito, sayang, baboy na napunta pa sa iba...

brother Ongaw

Rhythm Loss

Wondering why you left too soon,

Heart constantly is asking the soul.

Thinking were you are right now,

Struggling clarity in spite this serenity.

Finally looked up the bright sky,

Saw yours with shimmering splendid smile

Glad you made it pass through

Tearing eyes will never forget you.

wrong gift

Two weeks before winter....

Dear Diary,
Alam mo ba I met a guy today. He is so cute. He came up as I was going inside this shop. I thought he knew me since he approached me first and told me I look lovely on the shirt am wearing. Alam ko binobola lang niya ako kase I only wear T-shirt. Got it? - T-shirt lang my dear Diary. Alam ko na gagawin niya afterwards. and he did, nagpakilala siya sa akin. His name is J (not gonna give his full name baka mabasa ito ni ate mapagalitan ako). He works in a store across the road making snake toys pang fiesta (circa 80s toy). He said his supposed to go for a lunch break tapos paglabas niya nakita niya ako parang nagdadalawang isip papasok sa isang pawnshop so he decided na lapitan ako at kausapin. He look mabait. Alam mo ba diary what strikes me was his eyes. Its almond shape with a little bit of green color on the side, kala ko nga nasisilawan lang ako but they are really greenish. And it is not contact lens. Diary this is real guy! ang ganda ng pagkakatayu, not really muscles and bones but very firm ang physique, aaaay Diary.... 
So sinabi ko name ko, not my full name, un monicker ko lang, para ma -challenge siya na kilalanin pa niya ako. Diary you will not believe this, pero ang tagal namin nag usap sa labas ng shop. Parang di namin namalayan ang oras. Per my count parang it was almost two hours kase nag order sya ng softdrinks (1 liter for each) eh naubos namin un. At mind you diary, di ako tumutungga ng soda kase kailangan prim and proper ako, si J itong kausap ko eh. Pero talangang naubos namin un buong dalawang litro with matching coco bread na tig-tatlo kami. 
then sabi niya dumidilim na daw, he has to go, papagalitan na raw siya nang sister niya. Sabi ko bigla 'wow parehas pala tayu me sister na istrikto'. Sa sobrang tuwa niya sabi niya minsan papa-meet niya sister niya sa akin. pero talagang kailangan na daw siya umuwi.
Natapos ang usapan namin na di ko nakuha cellphone number niya pero alam ko naman saan siya nag work so magkikita pa rin kami. Sure ito diary, I can't wait....


Two week after winter....

Narda: 'ding ang bato, bilis...andyan si valentina sa likod'
Ding: 'te sorry, nai-regalo ko ki Joseph...anniv kase namin kahapon.

Book review

Malalaman mo ang gusto mong libro kung nagmamadali kang pumunta sa sunod na page kase atat ka malaman anu na mangyayari sa mga bida at kontrabidang sinusubaybayan mo.
Tandaan mo ang libro ay libro, hindi ito tao; pag ikaw sampung oras nang nagbabasa ikaw ay isang gago. 
Pero nuknukan akung hanga sayu kase di ka kumain, di ka tumayo, di ka nag-popo mabasa mo lang ang mga kahindik hindik at kapanapanabik na pahina nito eh "Little Prince" lang naman nakita kong hawak mo.

Recommendations:

Fifty shades of grey: with out sex would you still read it? (i do)

American sniper: funny and bad ass sniper kaso american (naman - read the title again)

Lord of the Rings (Trilogy): This is even better than the movie(s). dito singsing tlaga ang pinag uusapan hindi ang effects (cgi).

The shipping news: Pulitzer prize; pang matatalino; meron akong katabing genuis habang binabasa ko ito para me taga-translate.

A short story of nearly everything: pang regalo sa inaanak na ayaw muna pabalikin sa bahay mo sa susunod na pasko; kapal nito eh pasko na ulit page six pa lang sya.

KAMUSTA

Hello.
whenever someone picks a phone, it so happen that is the first word mentioned by the receiving party.
mapa-anung uri pa man siya nang ka-tao-han, iba man ang salita niya pero pag-na-translate mo eh "hello" pa ring maituturing ito.
bakit kaya hindi nila palitan kahit minsan lamang para makulayan naman ang kwentuhan nila....

Eto aking mga munting suggestions but are not advisable:

J-ello: parang name nung singer
G-ello: bisaya pag ka banggit nung name nung singer
K-ello: ilan gusto niya - half or 1/4
M-ello: anak gusto mo nung me gatas or gawin nating ice candy para masarap
R-ello: swaatch or ty-mex
V-ello: magsisimba or ayaw mainitan
B-ello: tagalog version ng V-ello
Y-ello: tag init na kasuotan
_-ello: pare kapangpangan ito. Sure! walang "h"

'i know this is crazy. here's my number so call me, maybe'....

dyaryo

Have you tried sneezing in front of the newspaper you're reading.
A friend of mine did.
Naawa ako sa newspaper; my heart mealts down from that guy's nose beating.
That damned paper has made its way to him to be read; putting it to circulation means a lot to anyone who made it lest make it a sneezing net.

Story - mairap gumawa ng istorya totoo man or hindi, kapani-paniwala or nakakakot. Iba ka istorya, ginagawa mo ang lahat para magkabuhay ang pahina sa newspaper ko.

Writer - you wake up to write, eat to write, you work to write, you run to write, you sleep to write. and then, you pray hard that your writing will be publish and "voila" it did. And then this happen, the slime got into the contents of your story. I am really sorry.

Photographer - a click here, a click there; picture here, picture there. just one click and there goes that one image that makes a lot of story. This is your moment, the moment all of the people are wondering why that slime got to that image.

Proof reader/editor - nakakapagod pero nakakatuwa linisin ang ipa-publish na istorya; you correct phrase here, you adjust sentence there and you design paragraph structure everywhere. Your effort is always underrated kase di ka nakikita sa author name line and then all of the sudden malalaman mo nadumihan ung edited page mo dahil sa sisipuning mambabasa. Tama ka you should have work in TV instead.

Publisher - yung lahat ng pawis mo invested sa newspaper mo. ginamit mo lahat ng utak at pera mo para itayu ito at isang sipon lang ang sisira nang pinag hirapan mo. bumangon ka at magtayu ng water refilling station. Tubong tubig ang kikitain mo rito.


Berto: Pero kait na anu sabiin nila at i-blame kait na sinu ang lupeet pa rin ng feeling pag pinatong mo un newspaper sa lamesa mo at gawing patungan ng beer, brandy, tequila, mani at barbeque.


You may sneeze now. Thank you.

Angels

We always look at to them.

We tend to remain loyal to them since they will be faithful to us.

They are called Angels.

They don't have a sex. As I believe they are neither male nor female; neither a frog nor an insect; neither a tree nor a flower.

They are just that, Angels.

Now, what if these so called angels have an appearance.

A "hugis" if so say so,

Are we still going to be loyal to them and are they gonna be faithful to us?

Herewith are some four choices: 

Brad Preitt - Itsura pa lang ibibigay ko na katawan ko sa kanya. He is the guy. He is the angel who I want to protect me. Kaso when he visited Anthony Hoopkens sa office niya, something is a remiss in that scene.

Angel Looksin - She is the one. Kaso malamang ako magbantay sa kanya. Eh kung mapunta siya sa iba. No no, I won't have her angel-ing anyone except me. Sabiin muna selfish ako pero Berto tandaan mo Angel Looksin ito, hindi ito ibang Anghel dre...

Angel na hugis Ahas - Somehow this doesn't makes sense. It's a remote possibility but distinctly plausible. Di naman lahat ng ahas masama kaso ahas pa rin sila kaya mukhang malabo pagkatiwalaan.

And Finally...

Angel na hugis mo - I mean ikaw mismo ang kamukha. Aber, would you trust yourself kung ang angel mo eh kamukha mo at nagbibigay sayu ng advice kung anu pwide mo gawin. Siguro sa una you would try it, maybe for a fun lang ba, pero I doubt if you will push it further down the line na pagkatiwalaan mo kamukha mo na magpapayo sayu. Let us put it this way, kung ikaw nga sa sarili mo me doubt ka kung anu ka sa mundo un pa kayang walang kasarian ang magpapayo sau at pagkakatiwalaan mo.

Buti na lang wala sila kamukha. Wala din kase silang kaparis.